In Fate's Hand
by UltimateSorceress
Summary: Tonight I'm screaming out to the stars, He knows that He owes me a favor...It doesn't matter where you are, you'll be mine again. CZ
1. Angel's Cry

Chapter One--- Angels Cry

The blonde sobbed quietly into his pillow. Each breath made his heart break into smaller and smaller pieces and his tears seemed to never end. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. It wasn't supposed to still haunt him after all these years. It should have gone away.

Every time he laid his head down to sleep, he saw_ him _again. Saw that gorgeous smile that had once been his. And then the pleasantness disappeared and he saw the blood again. He saw Zack dying again. And that's when the tears came. It had been so many years since the day Cloud's best friend had died and yet it haunted him like ghosts of yesterday. It followed him and clung to him, refusing to let him go, refusing to give him peace. It was his fault after all.

If he'd been stronger, quicker, Zack wouldn't have died that day. He'd been right there with Cloud and the world wouldn't seem so wrong. Lifting his head, Cloud looked around the room, frantically. For days now he'd been hearing Zack's voice echo about him like a whisper, calling to him again. But every time he looked, Zack was still gone, gone, _gone_.

The shrill ring of his alarm clock alerted Cloud to the fact that he'd once again cried the night through. Wiping cerulean orbs, he stood and shook off the guilt and pushed it far back into his mind where it would stay until the night freed it. His phone rang and Cloud answered it with a tired grunt.

"Cloudy-kins!!! You picked up, I'm so glad! I need a huge favor!!!" The energetic voice brought a reluctant smile to Cloud's face. Yuffie's enthusiasm never failed to ease the ache in his chest.

"Hello Yuffie." The woman yelled at someone on her end and then returned to Cloud.

"Sorry! Anyways, I'd _really_ love it if you went into Midgar and picked up a package for me!"Cloud rubbed his tired eyes and waited for her to explain. She didn't make him wait long.

"It's this new kind of material. Resta…..resto….anyways, its in my name and I have a doctor's appointment today and I can't go!" Cloud could almost see the woman pouting and he caved, even though he really didn't want to go into Midgar.

"Alright Yuffs, I'll go. Where's Vincent?" He heard her grumbling something obscene underneath her breath before answering.

"He had to go out of town for some private job. He _knows_ I hate those private jobs. Besides, he promised to come with me today!"

"How about I come with you? I'll pick up the package and meet you there." Yuffie squealed and he held the phone away from his ear.

"Oh thank you Cloudy-kins! I can't wait, I'll see you later!!!" Cloud hung up and pulled his jeans on, stretching lazily.

The sun shone brightly and Cloud's mood steadily worsened because of it. There had been so many wonderful days…shaking his head, Cloud sighed. He would conquer this. He was much stronger than he'd been then. He wasn't 16 anymore.

Cobalt eyes watched the blonde sorrowfully. How long had it been? Five years? Six? Raven spikes swayed with the shaking of his head and he trailed along after the blonde, hands in his pockets. Dying had been…interesting to say the least. But even heaven was hell without the blonde who'd been his sole reason for breathing. But he'd never told Cloud that and now he spent every night watching his best friend relieve that horrible day, wishing he just would have told him.

"God, not that stupid bike… Hey, Cloud! I can't fly that fast! Do you hear me, blondie? I'm going to kick your fat ass when you stop!!!" He called after Fenir, the engine roaring to life and speeding off with Zack's blonde ward. It was a good thing he knew where that bleach blonde walking steroid add was heading anyways. When he finally caught up, he found the young man's eyebrows drawn tightly together, a pout on his full lips.

"I'm not fat…" He muttered to himself, leaving Zack staring after him with an amusedly dumbfounded expression on his face, dragging his white wings behind him in shock. He _heard_ that?! Jesus, how long had he been able to hear Zack, anyways? Was he ignoring him?!

"Hey Cloud! It's nice to see you again. Yuffie talk you into it?" Cloud nodded, his gaze wandering around the shop rather than looking at Shera. He never met anyone's eyes anymore because every time he did, he saw Zack's blue-green eyes staring out at him.

"How's she doing anyways?" Cloud scratched the back of his head awkwardly. He hated conversation…

"Fine..um…I'm going with her to the doctor today…" Shera suppressed a grin.

"Vincent on call again? Let me know how that goes, alright?" Cloud nodded and accepted the package from the woman's hands and strapped it to Fenrir. Zack laughed when he saw Cloud's face wrinkle in disapproval.

"My bikes _not _stupid…I've got to stop talking to myself like he's here…jesus. Get over it cloud." Zack's heart broke into a million more pieces when Cloud's eyes forced themselves shut, halting the onslaught of tears.

"Soon, Spike. Soon."


	2. No Longer Believe

_**Chapter Two---No Longer Believe**_

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO BLACK-ABYSS!**

Yuffie sighed for the millionth time and began drumming her fingernails on the countertop. Cloud twitched in time with the drumming, the incessant noise becoming almost unbearable. Placing his broad hand over her small one, he glared at his friend savagely.

"Stop." Yuffie smiled sheepishly before fidgeting in her seat for a few moments and then stilling.

"I'm just bored Cloud. This always takes so long! Thank you for coming though. Vinny said he'd be back tonight and that you should come over for dinner." Cloud nodded, smiling at the woman.

"Mrs. Valentine?" Yuffie stood remarkably fast for someone 7 ½ months pregnant and with twins, no less.

"How have you been feeling?" Yuffie nodded with a bright smile.

"Great!! A little tired but otherwise I'm amazing!" Cloud couldn't suppress the snicker that left his lips. Leave it to Yuffie to consider herself top knotch at all times. The doctor continued to ask the woman beside him some rather embarrassing questions that Cloud did NOT want to hear. Ever. Eventually they got to the part Cloud was kind of excited about; the ultrasound.

"Well, twin one is in the correct position, so we have no worries there. He's looks great, they both do. We may have some trouble with twin two but try walking everyday for the next few weeks and we'll see if that little guys moves for us. We'll see you in four weeks!" Cloud couldn't believe that the little people moving and wiggling on the screen we're actually inside Yuffie, much less the fact that she'd…well, she'd grown people inside her. It was…incredible.

"I hate those stupid appointments. They take FOREVER and then you're only there for 15 minutes and then you leave again!" Cloud nodded absently, busily staring out the window into the rapidly passing scenery. Looking out into the grey skies, he was once again he reminded of the day Zack died. It had rained like this and he'd been left with no choice but to leave Zack there in the rain as he made his way back to town, Zack's buster sword in his seemingly too small hands.

"Cloud, are you even listening to me?" Cloud snapped his gaze to her and nodded quickly.

"No, you can't name them Zack and Cloud."

"That's great because I was asking you what you wanted for dinner." Cloud cursed under his breath. Damn that woman…

"Just kidding! I just wanted to make sure you were listening to me... for once." Cloud narrowed sapphire orbs at her as she grinned at him. At least she was happy. He liked to see her smile. As they pulled up the drive way to Yuffie's home, Cloud wondered again at how such a small woman could carry twin children. He'd never seen a pregnant woman before surprisingly.

"Oh dear, I'm just going to sit for a minute. These kids are getting heavy! Whew!" Cloud sat beside her and looking to her with a question gaze slowly reached out to touch her rounded belly. It was hard and firm beneath his hands and a steady onslaught of nudges and kicks were granted him, as if he were trespassing into the twins' space. A smile reached his lips as he leaned down and pressed his ear to her belly, listening to their faint heartbeats. Yuffie smiled down at the head of blonde spikes. It was nice to see him smile again…

"I'm happy for you Yuffie." Yuffie beamed and went about getting dinner prepared, choosing not to engage the blonde in actual conversation just yet. He was opening up and it had been a long time since he'd last done so. He would come around on his own.

"Vinny!!!" The small brunet practically leapt at the pale man whose response was to pick her up and swing her about like a small child. A grin sat on Vincent's lips as he felt her tummy. Not wanting to interrupt their moment, Cloud slipped outside unnoticed.

The rain continued to fall and Zack stood beside Cloud, wishing the blonde could see him. If only he could tell him…it was not the right time for such things. Cloud was having a hard enough time dealing with things. If Zack told him the truth, it would crush him.

"I'm so sorry Cloud. I never should have left you…" He whispered softly into Cloud's ear. Cloud sighed and tilted his head very slightly toward him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. This was never your fault..." Yuffie watched from the doorway was Cloud talked to Zack. She noticed he'd been doing that lately; talking to the nothingness that surrounded him, talked to it like he was talking to Zack.

And somewhere in her heart, she knew Zack was answering.

* * *

A.n: Wooo chapter two!!! I like this one!!! Hehe, reviews are loved!! THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO BLACK-ABYSS…..just in case you missed it at the top

Ulti!


	3. Live

_**Chapter Three--- Live**_

Zack sat quietly on the edge of the bed, his hands in his lap. The blonde lay sleeping soundly for once and a smile was on his face. Zack had always liked Cloud's smile. It was shy and rare so when he bestowed one upon Zack, the brunet always felt blessed; as if he'd witnessed a miracle.

He knew Cloud was dreaming about the good times and for this Zack was glad. Cloud spent too much time mourning and regretting the things he couldn't change. He spent too much time being sorry for what wasn't his fault. If anything, Zack should have been sorry. He's never said the things Cloud had needed to hear back then and now it was too late. Reaching forward, he brushed wild blonde spikes out of Cloud's face and smiled softly. It was good to see Cloud at peace.

"There's so much you should know, Cloud, so much. I wish you could see me. Then I could tell you what really happen after you left. I could tell you what I'd really meant to say…"Cloud stirred in his sleep, the smile slipping from his face, his pleasant dreams contorting into gruesome reality of what had once been. Zack held back his own tears as the blonde let out a mournful scream, the same one that haunted Zack even after all these years.

"Zack!" Cloud's chest heaved and sweated coated his body. Wiping his forehead, Cloud sat up and rubbed his eyes. He saw a glimpse of something black but it was gone just as quickly. Sighing, he stretched and lay back down, staring at his ceiling. He'd dreamt of Zack again. Only this time, Zack was sitting beside him, telling him it was all a bad dream and it would be over soon.

"Do you mean it Zack? Are you really there?" Zack stared at the blonde and reached out to touch him again, praying somehow Cloud would feel him. Cloud's only response was a slightly shiver.

"I'm here, you retarded loser. Open your eyes."

"But I don't have to pee…" He mumbled sleepily and Zack laughed, remembering the last time he'd called Cloud a retarded loser. Pulling the blankets up around his friend, Zack kept watch, keeping the blonde's demons at bay.

* * *

"Vinny, do you believe in miracles?" Vincent raised crimson orbs to his wife, a brow raised in question. Yuffie was full of oddities and surprises…

"Yes, I do." Yuffie hm'd in thought to herself, staring at the fire distantly. Vincent set his paperwork aside and looked at her closely. She had that look on her face again. The one that meant she was thinking about something and hell be damned if she didn't figure it out. It also meant she was planning something. This was almost never a good thing.

"Yuffie…" She turned innocent eyes his direction. He remained unfazed.

"Whatever it is, leave it be. Don't mess with things that are not of your concern." Yuffie gave him a pout but he held fast.

"I mean it." Yuffie pouted, turning away from him. Well maybe just an _insy_ bit of help wouldn't hurt anything….

* * *

Cloud awoke with a small smile on his lips. Last night had been one of the better nights he'd had in years. Sometimes he swore he heard Zack in the quiet of his home but the comforting sound would be gone just as quickly. Sighing, he headed into the bathroom, fully intending on taking a shower when his cell rang.

"Hello?" The giggle on the other end brought another smile to his lips.

"Cloud! I want you to come over and have lunch with us!" Cloud thought about this. Something wasn't setting well but he brushed the uneasy feeling away.

"Alright, I'll be over soon."

"See you then!" Cloud hung up and stripped down, turning on the hot water. As the bathroom filled with steam he remained unaware of the voyeur that lingered in the bathroom.

Zack swallowed hard as more and more lean muscle was revealed to him. Cloud had always been a kind of tangible form of perfection. Perfect creamy skin, taught muscle and endless eyes that managed to drown Zack with each glance. He'd always wondered what that skin would feel like, what Cloud's soft voice would sound like if…no. Shaking his head, Zack brushed the thought's away, turning from Cloud. It would do him no good to fantasize about what would never be his.

The thought that he would never again touch Cloud, or laugh with him, or even talk to him, broke his heart more and he wondered why Heaven had to hurt so much.

* * *

A.n: awww sadness. Sorry for such a shortie, but it's an update! Review!!!

**Elli**: Hope you like this! I've got half our 3rd chappie done

**Atomic SnoBunni**: Heheh I thought it was cute, glad you liked :D

**Black Abyss**: You are famous!!! I gave _some_ hints as to what _might_ happen in this chapter but they're oh so subtle and hidden lol. Enjoi!

**Sorceress Fujin**: -glomps- Glad you liked, thanks for helping me with those names today enjoi!!

Ulti!


	4. Potential

_**Chapter Four---Potential**_

Lunch at Vincent and Yuffie's was pleasant; far too pleasant. Cloud knew Yuffie Valentine and she was far from the cordial, pleasant girl she had been pretending to be. She was up to something and even Vincent was watching her carefully, least she dabble in business not her own once again. Not that Vincent could really do anything to stop her.

Cloud was driving home and a weird feeling over came him. Like someone was watching him. Like someone was in the car. He turned to see no one but the creepy feeling persisted. Finally he saw his house come into view and relief washed over him. The quiet of his house was comforting despite the continuous feeling of being followed.

"You know Cloudo that Yuffie is an odd ball. Vincent's right she is up to something." Zack said, sitting on the table. Cloud nodded, washing the few dishes in the sink.

"I know she's always up to something. No doubt she's trying to set me up with Reno again." Zack snorted derisively.

"As if that would happen, he's been all about Rude ever since I can remember." Cloud laughed, falling into the lull of imaginary conversation with the man on his table.

"Yea, it's nice for them though. I wish… I wish we'd had more time. I know you never felt that way but I still sometimes wish." The room fell silent and Cloud thought he heard the rustle of fabric before someone grabbed him and whirled him around. He instantly recognized a pair of blue eyes before soft lips crashed onto his, wrenching the air from his lungs and sending his heart pounding, frantically trying to beat its way from his chest.

"Don't say that. God don't say that." Zack rested his forehead against Cloud's, ignoring the fact that the man he'd been watching over for 6 years could finally see him. Why or how it happened, he didn't bother wondering about; it didn't matter.

"Zack?" Cloud asked cautiously, as if he were afraid the apparition would disappear. Zack smiled at him and in seconds Cloud had grabbed him and crushed their lips together once again. As the moments passed and wove together, for one night all was right again and Cloud was whole.

* * *

Zack awoke with an armful of Cloud and for a brief moment he forgot all of the bad things. He was simply there with Cloud, like he should have been. 

"Hey retard, wake up." Cloud's blue eyes fluttered open and Zack was sure he'd never seen anything so beautiful.

"I wasn't dreaming?" Zack shook his head, pulling the younger blond closer.

" Zack?" Cloud trailed off before the brunet looked at him expectantly.

"What's heaven like?" Cloud's fingers trailed over the white, feathery appendages that protruded from Zack's back. The man shrugged, burying his nose in blonde spikes.

" I don't know. I think heaven is right here. Watching you all these years, never being able to tell you what really happened or how I felt… it was more like hell. I don't care how this is happening or even why. I only care that you know that it wasn't your fault."

"But…if I had been-"

"No, it wasn't your fault. After you left…you remember Hojo, right?" Cloud nodded, scowling.

"Well, some student of his found me. I was so close to dead, I guess it didn't matter anyways. That's how I got the wings. Well, I don't really remember _how_ but when I woke up, there they were. Except, something went wrong." Cloud listened attentively, pulling Zack closer. He wondered if Zack had been in much pain but then he laughed at himself; of course Zack had been in pain. Vincent could verify that any procedure of Hojo's was bound to involve obscene amounts of pain. Realizing that Zack was still talking, Cloud listened.

" It's funny, how with the sicknesses that have been eating away at the people and the crime, Heaven's gotten kind of crowded. So I was sent to watch over you. Too many people were dying and they need protection. I guess the overflow of those who've gone to Heaven are sent to watch over the living, to make sure there's still a future on the Planet. Maybe God felt sorry for us." Zack trailed off, enjoying the warmth Cloud emitted and the delirious haze that clung about them, creating a lazy, morning after glow.

"Whatever happened, I'm glad you're here. I missed you." Cloud whispered softly almost afraid to open his eyes. But when he did, Zack was still there, still smiling at him and still loving him. It was then that Cloud was sure Heaven really exsisted.

* * *

A.n: smallish up date but enjoy! That's two updates in one day! Yay me! Thanks to all my lovely reviewers and readers!!! 

Ulti!


End file.
